DoingTheCaveman

Oh what a year.

Has it been obvious I've been flagging of late.  I see my consultant on Tuesday and I think the thought of this has caused made me to struggle over the last couple of weeks, quietly sabotaging myself.  So instead of writing a load of c**p I read through my previous posts in order to remind myself why I'm observing this way of eating (WOE), and indeed the desperate point I came from.

The last year has been a journey I'd never expected, not only the weight-loss and my attitudes to food but also where I see myself going with life in general.

It has been an evolving process and there have been a few painful steps too.

# One :  Quite simply indignation that a doctor, who I'd never met before, was making assumptions, stereotyping and accusing me of seeking for a magic pill for weight-loss.

# Two : The anger and indignation snapped me out of my apathy, and possibly depression.

I knew, from being a fatigued lifetime dieter, that other dieting models didn't work for me.  When I wasn't overeating from the frustration of repeated failures I was eating a 'normal SUKD. When I saw my consultant I was just eating the reduced diet I'd been advised, so was fuming at his disbelief.  I left the consultant determined to prove him wrong, but what was I to do.  I felt that the only way left to me for weight loss was to completely stop eating! So for the first few days this is what I did.

# Three :  It was perfectly timed that following the week of *that* humiliating hospital appointment I should run into the paleo diet and the concept made simple sense to me.  I/we were getting fat because we were eating in a way that biologically we weren't designed for.  In other words, accepted 'normal' healthy eating was false and I was simply eating way more than my body required.

A lesson I've learnt over the past year is that there is something intrinsically wrong with the food pyramid and the advice provided doesn't necessarily come from health sources.  If you make a worldwide comparison, you can see that that but every country has its own food pyramid. Surely, the fact that there are so many variations highlights the fact that we are confused about what we should be eating.

# Four :  I started to eat paleo and my blood sugar readings normalised within a couple of weeks and the weight loss followed. 

# Five : As far as I could see, with the success so far, it was down the the chemical overload I/we were eating.  I went on a literature rampage, not difficult when you work in a university library - my appetite for periodicals and food related books became bigger than my appetite for food.  I was very, very annoyed - I'd been poisoned, manipulated by the food industry. I felt like a pawn in a mass conspiracy, a £ on legs.  I could have blogged (ranted) more, but for life getting in the way.

# Six :  Next I became a little over zealous and recruited myself into the food police.  I'd got my ship in order, but now everyone around me were, like madmen, munching questionable food, and boy my immediate family were in for a hard time :)

# Seven :  I've entered another phase now - a quite phase. I'm settling into this WOE and I'm still blogging and recording my progress and probably will be ranting some more, but offline I'm not advertising my diet as much and instead just getting quietly on with it.  It's easier to say that I'm gluten/dairy intolerant in social situations, but if I'm asked how I'm losing the weight paleo will get the credit.

This WOE though has opened up some new interests and lifestyle (basically naturapathy Vs allopathy, herbalism, permaculture and raw foodism etc). Last year I would have considered it all a little too alternative, despite being a Brightonian! 

So anyway when this post started it it was only meant to be a few short paragraphs to let you know that I was going to have a blog tidy up.  Refresh my own memory as to why as to why I'm on this journey and the posts that I consider to be the most representative of it in the sidebar. 

I know I have to step it up if I'm to shift my weight any further and for the next year, that of course has to be exercise.  I sometimes have to remind myself that, for me, it's not simply about weight loss, it's the fact that a year ago I did have the threat of insulin looming over me and that's (hopefully) a mere memory.  My journey is one about fighting a common and modern disease by stepping back in time.

Sad news

   

A little maudlin today.  During the weekend I spied an obituary to a 'lad' who was in my school year.  To be perfecly honest I couldn't really remember who he was and had to check out the tags on our year photo to put the face to the name.  Nevertheless, I feel terribly sad and although I don't really know what happened the obituary asks for donations to be sent to the British Heart Foundation.  Who knows what heart condition he had,  I'm just putting 2 and 2 together and making 5.  I know it happens, but it highlights the danger of heart disease when it happens so close to home.  Not so long ago we were a healthy bunch and  I'm completely shocked that anyone from my own school year would already dropping down from heart disease, we're not that old (36).  Brings home the fragility of life. (R.I.P. Peter)

What's exercise to you?

Reading around other blogs lately it's great to see other's doing to be doing so well. I on the other hand am stuck.  Since January I've been yo- yoing back and forth between 13stone 9 lb and 13 stone 3 lb (83 - 87 kilos).  I was a feeling a little blue after my holiday and that was reflected in the scales when the vending machine sprouted a halo.  I binged.  Briefly! That's why I haven't posted my weight recently, since after getting down to 13 stone 3 lb before my holiday, it was depresing that two weeks following it I was back up to 13 stone 9 lb (88 kilos).  I was worried I was losing my motivation, and until now blogging has been a surprising way of keeping up the momentum.

But we all have our bad weeks.  It's just that over the last 5 months, no the last 10 years I haven't been able to get my weight below 12 stone 12 lbs.  I'm convinced that once I go through the 13/14 stone barrier it'll be plain sailing all the way. 

In relation to the diet, I have been back on track since the 'Raw' workshop, my weight, however, is completely stuck.  The problem is I see the hospital consultant in a couple of weeks and, although I have lost since I last saw him, I'd been aiming for another 24 lbs.  I'm worried that the binge will show up in my Hb A1c and have 2 weeks to push it down before the appointment.

On the whole, while I am quite satisfied with my way of eating (now I'm back on track).  Sometimes it's so easy I forget I'm on a diet. It is simply my way of life now and, at the moment, I don't plan on any further dietary changes. So, what else can I do to bring about further weight loss?

E.e.e.e.exercise.  It's not that I haven't been exercising, I have.  It's just that I haven't got any particular routine and it's no secret I HATE the gym. My routine is a stop/start routine. I have absolutely no motivation to get myself there and I recognise the fact the gym is *never* going to feature in my life.  But I do need to light a fire under my butt.

'Activity' on the other hand is a word I do like...

To clarify, when I say I hate the gym that doesn't mean that I hate activity.  It's just that I'm having trouble maintaining or integrating exercise with any regularity into my life.  A routine may be started but something always seems to get in the way, whether it be the weather or the dark.

Walking on a treadmill, stepper etc is something that, for me, has little point.  Apart from personal goals it doesn't really lead to any particular achievement.  It's not that I don't recognise its benefit, but I prefer to view exercise in terms of activity that has a purpose.  Expending physical energy should have a point; have an outcome, make a contribution, be a game, or be a learning experience whereby you constantly improving your abilities.  For example, to get from A to B, clear a garden, play tennis or a martial art.

Looking back that's just the way I grew up to view exercise - there should be a challenging element in it; place of beauty to see; plain fun; a challenge or adrenaline raiser; the next grade to aim for or game to win.  *sigh* though I'm simply too old to return to ballet. LOL.  Maybe yoga - hmmm now there's a thought.

Anway, I have made a decision about the exercise problem though - to go from A to B.  Now the weather's getting brighter I've made a decision.  So on a recent visit to my folks I roped my poor old dad in on my exercise plan ...

'Daddy, please can you find my bike?'  ... well I'm not venturing into *his* shed territory, and ... 'Daddy, can you mend my bike?'  .... no excuse for that one!

Apart from grumbling that the tyres would be rotten my wonderful Dad duly obliged and extracted said bike from its dungeon.  Oiled and tyres pumped up, I'm all set.  Once, of course, they've had a couple of days to ensure they don't deflate after years of neglect.

Ironic that the last time I cycled it was actually a two week cycling holiday in Holland.

So, the eventual grand plan, and first step, to consistently raise my level of 'activity' is to cycle to and from work!  It's not something I'm going to be able to do straight way though!  It's a long, long way to work!  But it's giving me another goal to aim for and I'll be able to make some savings and get my exercise all in one go.  Over the next few weeks, while we're having some beautiful weather it's my intention to get out in the evenings and re-aquaint myself with the country lanes ... sure going to beat my stationary bike. 

The Mouth Revolution.

Take a stand.

Join the revolution

Yes, I know what am I doing watching silly videos when I could be exercising.

I couldn't resist posting this if you have 5 minutres see this video.  It is quite funny - promise!

Felicia's 'yougin' photo challenge

A few days ago Felicia at 'Life Happens' put up 'youngin' photo challenge up to the age of 10.  I was a couple of weeks late coming into the world and have probably been late for everything else eversince.  So a few days late here are mine.

I put up some once before in November so a couple are repeats.

With Grandfather

Always Hungry!!!!

Can't find many photo's (I like) at 10.  I'm wearing brown

Know thyself

The words "Know Thyself" were long ago inscribed in Greek on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. Ancient philosophers understood the great value in truly knowing oneself, because with such knowledge can come change. Introspection and self-understanding can help us examine ourselves so we can develop the character we desire, and avoid behaviors that lead to unhappiness.

So what made you fat? 

I saw these questions the other day on escape from obesity and thought they'd be useful to address.  My blog for me has been very much about understanding the causes in order to move forward.

1. What types of food were you most likely to overeat?  Cheese, bread and anything sweet.  Plus, for me, a meal had to be a complete meal, by which I mean that, hungry or not, a main meal wouldn't feel complete unless it had dessert. 

2. What times of day did you overeat most often? I'm a very habitual eater and although my real danger times were in the evenings if I started a daily habit such as a donut with coffee, it could easily become a daily habit.  For example, I was once temping on a job and on the way I changed at a station which had a particular latte and caramel donut I loved.  Before long I started to treat myself daily for breakfast.  On my journey back to the station I started visualising that stall/latte and donut and before long I started picking one up after work too.  Even when I changed my job and no longer passed through this station I went off route in order to get my hands on my daily donut.

3. What feelings were you having most often when you overate?  At the times I've overeaten I really wasn't there I can't recall feelings as such; mindless, trance like and very relaxed.  Only afterwards would I investigate or find the wrappers and think OMG what have I done. 

4. Do you think you have a binge eating disorder? Yes, although someone once said to me that every woman has an eating disorder which I think could be true.  Looking back most many female friends I've known have had an experience somewhere on the spectrum of eating disorders, including several friends, my mother and sister.  I also think at the age of 15 I almost gravitated to the opposite end of an eating disorder. 

5. What circumstances in your life do you believe contributed to your weight gain? Lack of time for myself and eating quick and convenient cafeteria foods.  When I really started to gain my excess weight I was an undergraduate and financially stressed.  I'd then broken up from my long term then fiance because of the intense negativity from my family.  He'd then passed away unexpectedly but I had to silently grieve for him because my family had never accepted relationship and since they didn't care for him didn't recognise my sorrow. I think I used food as a comforting crutch. Additionally I was commuting 3 hours daily each way and this left very little time for food preparation and plenty of opportunities to snatch junk food on the run.

6. Do you 'blame' anyone for your weight? Mmmm I think I'm going to skip this one, for now.

7. What other behaviors made you overweight?  Lyn mentioned avoiding activity and withdrawing from friends in her answer to this question.  It's kind of chicken and an egg.  I was inactive and also withdrew from quite a few friendships and activities but I was feeling pretty rough and tired and I didn't really have the energy to maintain them, so I'm not really sure which came first. I used to enjoy exercise, but I never really got myself in a position where I felt well enough to get going again.

8. Were you active or exercising while you gained weight? No

9. Why did you choose that activity level? Lack of leisure time.  I would wake for work at 5am to leave and on a bad day I may have not been home at 10pm and I really couldn't see an opportunity to exercise (the commute did include time spent on a 10 minute brisk walk to and from the station at either end).

10. What made you finally want to change?   Health, and I want to stop seeing a stranger daily in the mirror.

How does a standard diet make you feel?

It's funny isn't it how it's recommended that a standard and balanced diet is one where everything can be eaten in moderation.. .

Think about the acronym used for the standard diet. 

For me its the Standard UK (SUKD) which doesn't really tell you a lot but I like the acronym used in American and Australia.

* * * * * * * *

- S - A - D -

yes

S A D

* * * * * * * *

Doesn't sound like the standard diet has much to do with health vitality.

I'm just going to file this under random since I'm in such a random mood today.

RAW at the Earthship

Can you take me to the Earthship? 

Yes the driver did do a double take when I stepped into his taxi and gave this instruction on Saturday.

Time to come out. 

If you didn't realise my post last week nature is bountiful post was related to raw foodism and the fact that it has over the last 6 months become a significant element of my own paleo diet.

Indeed, it's becoming a dilemma as to which direction I'm ultimately going to take myself since, generally, those practising raw foodism tend to be raw vegans/vegetarians, whereas 'the paleo diet' has its obvious meat content.  There is, however, quite a bit of crossover such as foraging, not eating man made foods and, whilst foods on the 'paleo' menu food can be cooked, anything consumed should be edible even when raw.  So, you can see how surfing the web led me to the delights of raw foodism, and it was hard for me to ignore. 

The discovery excited me with its plethora of raw food recipes that take you out of the little cooked food box eg. how to make a cake without butter, sugar dairy or flour.

Although often viewed as quite an extreme and alternative lifestyle raw foodism, for me, is another cuisine, like French, Italian or Chinese.  Simply another way to manipulate food and extension to my diet of natural foods. 

A bonus for me is that living near Brighton, which has been the stomping ground for most of my life, I'm actually near the City which has been adopted as the raw food capital of the UK, and I didn't know.

So anyway to take my raw food 'uncooking' to the next level I'd booked up for a raw workshop to be held on Saturday which was unfortunately cancelled a couple of days before the event.  A little deflated, my motivation flagging and needing a boost I researched and quickly  found another workshop and was fortunate to book into it at the last minute.  This was led by one of the leading UK raw food promoters Jess Michael, and held at the exciting venue 'the Earthship'.

What an inspiring day in a fantastic setting with an absolutely delicious meal and tasters, expertly demonstrated by Jess.  Jess was vibrant and simply radiated good health.  Interesting to note that she'd originally come to raw foodism through illness, you certainly wouldn't know that now.

I walked up to the venue with a lady who's been practising raw foodism for a couple of years now.  She told me that her mother had been morbidly obese for most of her life but had been juice feasting since January and had lost 6 stone. The raw food fast and feasting reportedly can really speed up weight loss. My experience over the last few months is that when I've been predominently raw my weight loss has stopped and stabilised, although I may have been going about aspects the wrong way.  However, when I've been doing 'strict caveman' I've lost weight has returned, probably through the ketosis.  My taste preferences though I must admit are veg/raw.  I am convinced about the benefits of enzymes and vitamins by eating predominently raw, however I have been for a long time convinced about the protein/fat element in my paleo diet.

So where am I going with raw/paleo now. I'm not sure at this moment in time.   When did man discover fire?

As I travelled home a very young lamb was dashing across the field and I looked at his little face and thought to myself I don't think I can eat you anymore.

No decision to be made quite yet but raw food is here to stay.

I guess I still need a little practice with my photography skills!

Felicia's fun photo challenge

I'm pretty excited to have *finally* bought my first digital camera (a modest 8 mp) and Felicia's 'fun photo challenge' over at 'Life Happens' presented the perfect opportunity for some practice snaps. Hence, there are a few:)   

Being a digital camera newbie I had a teething problem the view and glare on the glass - I couldn't see a darn thing on the screen when aiming for a snap.  Any hints or tips gratefully received.

In fact I went a bit mad and made an album on the side bar.  All the pics you see are within 2 minutes walk from my home. The photos below are (i) looking into my street and (ii) the view to the sea looking away from my street.

Nature is bountiful

I was bereft.

Yes I was.

No more cookies, no more cakes, no more dairy, no more chocolate....

Believe you me I resisted, I stamped my feet and I fought.

When I've followed other diets the goal at the other end has always been to be able to eat 'normally' again.  Yet, somehow manage my weight along with my favourite products.

Pray to stay thin, pray to be well.

No, no, no...

Well I wanted to cook.  I enjoy the cooking process but when I started the paleo diet - well - it would be just for a while, just while I lost weight.    Cooking the way food as I knew it  (standard UK diet) well that's not exactly paleo is it? 

Life was about to change, so yes I was bereft.  I felt limited by my future paleo foods, and I was scared to be bored. 

But I've gone through a gradual process of realisation - that I could *never* really go backwards.. and *shock* I enjoy my new way of life.

As it happens I've never been in the kitchen more.  Believe you me, I am enjoying my food so, so much more than before. You can't really overeat on this diet. This is a totally safe arena for me to play in. 

I've been dabbling in another way of eating and style of food preperation and eating that works well alongside my paleo diet.  Now, I'm not going to come out about that yet but it's a foodie wonderland and boy am I having fun playing.

The fun has only just begun...

~ nature is bountiful ~